Sometimes, just occasionally, meetings go a little like this:

(with apologies to A A Milne)

One day, when The Chairman of the Board and the Managing Director and the Sales Director were all talking together, The Chairman of the Board finished the mouthful he was eating and said carelessly: "I saw a Customer today, Sales Director."

"What was it doing?" asked the Sales Director.

"Just limping along," said the Chairman of the Board. "I don't think it saw me."

"I saw one once," said the Sales Director. "At least, I think I did," he said. "Only perhaps it wasn't."

"So did I," said the Managing Director, wondering what a Customer was like.

"You don't often see them," said the Chairman of the Board carelessly.

"Not now," said the Sales Director.

"Not at this time of year," said the Managing Director.

Then they all talked about something else, until it was time for the Managing Director and the Sales Director to walk to the train together. At first as they stumped along the path which edged a wood, they didn't say much to each other; but when they came to the stream and crossed it, and were able to walk side by side again, they began to talk in a friendly way about this and that, and the Sales Director said, "If you see what I mean, Managing Director," and the Managing Director said, "It's just what I think myself, Sales Director," and the Sales Director said, "But, on the other hand, Managing Director, we must remember," and the Managing Director said, "Quite true, Sales Director, although I had forgotten it for the moment." And then, just as they came to the Six Pine Trees, the Managing Director looked round to see that nobody else was listening, and said in a very solemn voice:

“I have decided.”

"What have you decided, Managing Director?" said the Sales Director

"I have decided to win a new Customer."

The Managing Director nodded his head several times as he said this, and waited for the Sales Director to say "How?" or "Managing Director, you couldn't!" or something helpful of that sort, but the Sales Director said nothing. The fact was the Sales Director was wishing that he had thought about it first.

"I shall do it," said the Managing Director, after waiting a little longer, "by means of a trap. And it must be a Cunning Trap, so you will have to help me, Sales Director."

"Managing Director," said the Sales Director, feeling quite happy again now, "I will."

And then he said, "How shall we do it?" and the Managing Director said, "That's just it. How?"

The Managing Director's idea was that they should dig a Very Deep Pit, and then a new Customer would come along and fall into the Pit, and----"Why?" said the Sales Director.

"Why what?" said the Managing Director.

"Why would he fall in?"

The Managing Director rubbed his nose, and said that the new Customer might be walking along, humming a little song, and looking up at the sky, wondering if it would rain, and so he wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was half-way down, when it would be too late.

The Sales Director said that this was a very good Trap, but supposing it were raining already?

The Managing Director rubbed his nose again, and said that he hadn't thought of that. And then he brightened up, and said that, if it were raining already, the new Customer would be looking at the sky wondering if it would clear up, and so he wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was half-way down....When it would be too late.

The Sales Director said that, now that this point had been explained, he thought it was a Cunning Trap.

The Managing Director was very proud when he heard this, and he felt that the new Customer was as good as caught already, but there was just one other thing which had to be thought about, and it was this. Where should they dig the Very Deep Pit?

The Sales Director said that the best place would be somewhere where a new Customer was, just before he fell into it, only about a foot farther on.

"But then he would see us digging it," said the Managing Director.

"Not if he was looking at the sky."

"He would Suspect," said the Managing Director, "if he happened to look down." He thought for a long time and then added sadly, "It isn't as easy as I thought. I suppose that's why new Customers hardly ever get caught."

"That must be it," said the Sales Director.

They sighed, and walked on, and all the time the Managing Director was saying to himself, "If only I could think of something!" For he felt sure that a Very Clever Brain could catch a new Customer if only he knew the right way to go about it…

KMUK PR: review of the year

KMUK's good friend Dan Ilett has just published his round up of the year's developments at Greenbang, and not being one to pass up the opportunity to rip off someone else's idea, I thought I'd take a brief look back at the past year at KMUK.

At the beginning of 2010, I'd just about got my feet on the ground after returning from maternity leave the previous September, and KMUK was heading for its best financial result ever, an achievement which was confirmed in April and celebrated with bonuses all round.

April saw another UK first with the opening of the Kyocera Technology Suite just off Regent Street in London. The opening ceremony was compered by Dan Ilett, performed by Consul General Sumio Kusaka of the Japanese Embassy, and ably supported by Sir John Madejski. The suite acts as a showcase for Kyocera Mita products and philosophy, and we also offer it free of charge to organisations holding events promoting sustainability. Its proximity to the nation's shopping heartland has also proved popular with those of us with more money than sense.

Product-wise the Kyocera range has continued to strengthen, with new devices launched in all segments from desktop to departmental. The hardware continues to bring in accolades from industry pundits, with BERTL and BLI both lavishing excellent product ratings on us. It's been the company awards that have meant the most, however, and we were more than thrilled to win the Microscope hardware vendor of the year award earlier this year, which we followed up with a Highly Commended in the Vendor of the Year category at the CRN awards in November. For a company that operates solely via the channel, these are the awards we want to be winning.

As well as being a channel-focused company we are, of course, an environmentally-focused company also. We were fortunate to receive significant industry recognition for our contribution this year, picking up the Green IT Magazine company of the year award, the BOSS industry Award for Environmental Manufacturer, and the Sustainable FM award for Sustainable supplier of the Year: Office Products.

July saw the entire company head off to Eynsham Hall in Oxfordshire for Kyocera Culture and Philosophy training. The two-day exercise, which was conducted in either 30+ degree heat or teeming rain, depending on which of the two sessions you attended, saw employees singing nursery rhymes to children in playgrounds, hacking through undergrowth, and creating "pavement art". We all learnt a great deal about our colleagues' strengths and weaknesses, and helped to define the kind of company that KMUK will become as we continue to grow.

In October we suffered a blow, as one of our environmental partners made an extraordinary and unprecendented error of judgement, which left us with a damage limitation exercise to conduct. We learned a lot about crisis management, the power of personal response, and the 24/7 nature of social media. We weren't at the centre of the crisis, but the lessons that we learned, both good and bad, will stand us in good stead as we move forward.

2010 has been another record-breaking year for KMUK. We celebrated with an almighty Christmas knees-up at the Ice Bar in London, which reaffirmed the genuine friendships that exist between most of the staff at KMUK. Many of us have worked together now for the best part of 10 years, with some closer to 20 years' service, and it's great to see that dedication and enthusiasm being shared with new staff members, along with the odd drink or two, of course!

As we head into 2011, we've got some very exciting projects on the go, not least of which is smashing our FY11 masterplan target, and setting the target for FY12 which will drive us towards our aim of doubling the size of the company by 2015. There's plenty of hard work still ahead of us, but we're confident that we can make it happen.

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Peaceful and Prosperous New Year.

200 Kyocera/Reading FC footie shirts for South African children

One of our friends at Gartner is involved with the charity "Kits 4 Kids", which is collecting football shirts to give to vulnerable children in South Africa, and asked whether we had any footie shirts left over from our sponsorship of Reading FC. As luck would have it , the lovely Emma Pierce up at the club could lay her hands on 200 of them, and today I took part in a photoshoot with the Chairman (Sir John Madejski) and Royals midfielder Brian Howard to mark the donation of those shirts to Kits 4 Kids. It was freezing on the pitch, so huge thanks to Sir John and Brian for taking part, and to the intrepid photographer from the Reading Post who had already spent two hours in sub-zero temperatures waiting for a crown court judgement to be delivered.

Here's the full story:

Kyocera and Reading Football Club donate 200 shirts to Kits for Kids

Shirts will be given to vulnerable children in South Africa

Monday, 29th November 2010; Reading, UK: Kyocera Mita and Reading Football Club are pleased to announce the donation of 200 KYOCERA-branded football shirts to the charity “Kits for Kids”. The shirts, which are left over from Kyocera’s sponsorship of the club, will be shipped to the Katha Day Centre in Katlahong, Johannesburg, South Africa. Katha supports orphans and vulnerable children in the Township with day care for the pre-school children, after school care for the older ones and practical help for their carers.

Kits for Kids recognises the popularity of football with South African children, particularly in the light of this year’s World Cup tournament, and wants to bring some football-related Christmas cheer to underprivileged children. The organisation has been collecting shirts from around the country to send out to Johannesburg.

Jessica Bishop of Kits for Kids explains further: “Football is tremendously popular in South Africa, and in particular among the children in the Townships. They are keen followers of UK football too. On Fridays children are permitted to wear football shirts to school, and indeed this practice even extended to the workplace during the World Cup in June!”

Tracey Rawling Church, Director of Brand and Reputation at Kyocera Mita (UK) Ltd said: “We’re delighted that the shirts are going to a deserving home. Kyocera’s sponsorship of Reading FC was one of the most enjoyable and valuable things we’ve ever done, so it’s nice to see the spirit of the relationship continue with this donation.”

Royals midfielder Brian Howard added: “From what I saw, young people in South Africa really got behind football and all caught World Cup fever in the summer. So it’s great that we can play our part in helping the sport to develop over there by sending these shirts. Hopefully it will inspire them to kick a ball about themselves and enjoy playing football.”

Kits for Kids is inviting donations of new or used football shirts in sizes child’s age 2 up to adult XL, anybody who is interested in donating their own shirts or collecting at their office, school, church or club can find more details at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Kits-for-Kids/120253084700023

changes to CRC energy efficiency scheme sneaked out during spending review

The workings of the CRC Energy Efficiency scheme were quietly revised yesterday during the spending review. Now, instead of offering "cashback" to organisations that are leading the league tables in energy reduction, the scheme will effectively be a flat taxation system on carbon emissions. The revenue raised will contribute about £1bn to the enormous gaping hole in public finances, and there's no doubt it's needed, but it has changed a scheme designed to reward those prepared to go the extra mile with one where it's more likely that the minimum will be done.

Carbon emissions will simply become a cost of business, to be absorbed like other business costs. And what costs? PwC has calculated that for business with an energy bill of £1m. the loss of incentives will increase costs by around £76,000 per year, increasing to £114,000 per year by 2015.

Yet more SOBER-ing news. (How thrilled was Mervyn King to have come up with that one?)

Edited to add: Chris Huhne defends the change via Businessgreen.com

Awards galore!

On to happier and less controversial things!

We had a real purple patch last Thursday when we picked up not only the Document Manager Award for printer product of the year but also the BOSS federation award for Environmental manufacturer of the year. What a great result!

I was at the Document Manager awards and we were thoroughly entertained by comedian Adam Bloom, and almost as thoroughly entertained on the train back to Reading by an extraordinarily inebriated Australian from Ericsson who had been wildly celebrating the end of a major project at the Tate Modern with what sounded like the entire company.

I generally like awards ceremonies (especially when we win of course), but there's generally pretty good food, and at least a B-list comedian - think Mock the Week sort of standard. I don't tend to get quite as sozzled these days as I used to back in my heady youth, although I'm always up for a party. The Green IT magazine awards will take some topping though - we ended up at the barracks of the Grenadier Guards next to Buckingham Palace wielding dress swords at 2 a.m. Oddly enough I was wearing the same dress at the DM awards last Thursday, maybe it's a lucky dress...

We're shortlisted for CRN vendor of the Year and now also Thames Valley Business of the Year - both of which are on 18th November, so fingers crossed for another great double!

On the subject of viral videos

This blog has been quiet for a little while. One of the reasons for this is to do with an online video that was released by 10:10.

Regarding that I can only say the following at this time:

Kyocera Mita has supported the 10:10 campaign because we share its ambition to reduce carbon emissions. However, we don't support the "No Pressure" video and are dismayed by any suggestion that we might have been involved in its production; in fact we had no knowledge of its content until it appeared online. We consider that 10:10 made a serious error of judgement in tis choice of creative approach, which is totally at odds with the inclusive and positive attitude that has been the hallmark of its other activities. 10:10 has acknowledged its mistake, withdrawn the video and issued an apology. We have been meeting with 10:10 to seek assurances about its motivation and future creative approach and are evaluating our relationship with the organisation.

Presentation preferences

Today was the BIG DAY of the CRN Awards presentation. Preparing for the presentation was quite a challenge due to the extreme diary congestion of the two presenters. Basically, we made the CRN shortlist because of our great sales figures and status as a growing company with 100% channel model, but the side-effect of all this success is that the team is operating right at the edge of its resources. Getting Charlotte and Nigel in the same room for more than ten minutes proved tricky.

In order to make things as simple as possible given the limited time we had, I decided to draft a script for the presentation, covering the key areas. This gels very much with my preferred presenting approach. I like to know exactly what I'm going to say right down to the word, and then I tend to embellish and ad lib on the actual day, which I'm comfortable doing as I'm so familiar with the content. This is not the right approach for everyone.

Nigel, our director of channel marketing and product management, is an experienced and accomplished presenter, but he HATES to rehearse. Most of his presentations are drafted immediately before they are delivered, and are all the better for it. In this situation, however, he was doing a "double-act" with Charlotte, so rehearsal was necessary.

The first run-thorugh did not go smoothly. Charlotte had done quite a lot of preparation over the weekend and adapted the content into her own style. However, it was clear that Nigel was derailed by attempting to adapt my phraseology into his own presenting style. I was kicking myself, as it was clear that Nigel needed to do it his own way.

We decided to tear up the script, and Nigel came back an hour later with his notes in order, and suddenly the whole show began to come together. By the final run through, both Nigel and Charlotte were comfortably working their content and ready to perform.

It was a useful lesson for me. I'd have been better simply giving Nigel and Charlotte headlines that they needed to cover, and letting them get on with it. I'd thought it was helpful to have a scripted basis for the presentation, but it didn't work for them.

The actual presentation at the Mad Stad went well. The judges were sitting in a hospitality box that conveniently overlooked our stadium branding, and they commented on it before the presentation, so at least we know they noticed! The other shortlised companies' representatives were almost uniformly male, reflecting the bias of the industry, so at least we had sexual equality on our side! No one was giving anything away in the "green room" where I sat and guarded Charlotte's handbag while she and Nigel did their stuff behind closed doors.

All we can do now is wait until the awards ceremony on the 18th November to see whether we've managed to rise above some extremely stiff competition.