Thursday 27 January 2011

Sometimes, just occasionally, meetings go a little like this:

(with apologies to A A Milne)

One day, when The Chairman of the Board and the Managing Director and the Sales Director were all talking together, The Chairman of the Board finished the mouthful he was eating and said carelessly: "I saw a Customer today, Sales Director."

"What was it doing?" asked the Sales Director.

"Just limping along," said the Chairman of the Board. "I don't think it saw me."

"I saw one once," said the Sales Director. "At least, I think I did," he said. "Only perhaps it wasn't."

"So did I," said the Managing Director, wondering what a Customer was like.

"You don't often see them," said the Chairman of the Board carelessly.

"Not now," said the Sales Director.

"Not at this time of year," said the Managing Director.

Then they all talked about something else, until it was time for the Managing Director and the Sales Director to walk to the train together. At first as they stumped along the path which edged a wood, they didn't say much to each other; but when they came to the stream and crossed it, and were able to walk side by side again, they began to talk in a friendly way about this and that, and the Sales Director said, "If you see what I mean, Managing Director," and the Managing Director said, "It's just what I think myself, Sales Director," and the Sales Director said, "But, on the other hand, Managing Director, we must remember," and the Managing Director said, "Quite true, Sales Director, although I had forgotten it for the moment." And then, just as they came to the Six Pine Trees, the Managing Director looked round to see that nobody else was listening, and said in a very solemn voice:

“I have decided.”

"What have you decided, Managing Director?" said the Sales Director

"I have decided to win a new Customer."

The Managing Director nodded his head several times as he said this, and waited for the Sales Director to say "How?" or "Managing Director, you couldn't!" or something helpful of that sort, but the Sales Director said nothing. The fact was the Sales Director was wishing that he had thought about it first.

"I shall do it," said the Managing Director, after waiting a little longer, "by means of a trap. And it must be a Cunning Trap, so you will have to help me, Sales Director."

"Managing Director," said the Sales Director, feeling quite happy again now, "I will."

And then he said, "How shall we do it?" and the Managing Director said, "That's just it. How?"

The Managing Director's idea was that they should dig a Very Deep Pit, and then a new Customer would come along and fall into the Pit, and----"Why?" said the Sales Director.

"Why what?" said the Managing Director.

"Why would he fall in?"

The Managing Director rubbed his nose, and said that the new Customer might be walking along, humming a little song, and looking up at the sky, wondering if it would rain, and so he wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was half-way down, when it would be too late.

The Sales Director said that this was a very good Trap, but supposing it were raining already?

The Managing Director rubbed his nose again, and said that he hadn't thought of that. And then he brightened up, and said that, if it were raining already, the new Customer would be looking at the sky wondering if it would clear up, and so he wouldn't see the Very Deep Pit until he was half-way down....When it would be too late.

The Sales Director said that, now that this point had been explained, he thought it was a Cunning Trap.

The Managing Director was very proud when he heard this, and he felt that the new Customer was as good as caught already, but there was just one other thing which had to be thought about, and it was this. Where should they dig the Very Deep Pit?

The Sales Director said that the best place would be somewhere where a new Customer was, just before he fell into it, only about a foot farther on.

"But then he would see us digging it," said the Managing Director.

"Not if he was looking at the sky."

"He would Suspect," said the Managing Director, "if he happened to look down." He thought for a long time and then added sadly, "It isn't as easy as I thought. I suppose that's why new Customers hardly ever get caught."

"That must be it," said the Sales Director.

They sighed, and walked on, and all the time the Managing Director was saying to himself, "If only I could think of something!" For he felt sure that a Very Clever Brain could catch a new Customer if only he knew the right way to go about it…

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